pulmonary embolism – PART II

Things seemed to be humming along, relatively I guess, back in February 2012.  I had managed to lose 16 pounds and stay motivated through the first 60 days or so of my blog.  I was about 325 pounds.

March 2012 changed all that.

After getting back from a huge cheer competition in Dallas, and after having walked all over the city with unknown blood clots in my leg, the worst happened.  I found myself tired, barely able to breathe, and struggling to workout.  I thought I had caught something.  After a week of trying to fight it, I finally relented and went to the ER.  I knew by their faces immediately.  Pulmonary embolism.  I had been through this all just 5 years earlier, but this time was much different.

Aside from the sheer luck it takes to survive an attack like mine, it left me damaged.  After 8 days in intensive care, I was finally released.  The recovery from that was so unlike my first PE.  I spent the next 6 months fighting a tiredness not many people get to experience.

It wasn’t a sleep deprived tired.  It was the kind that makes you want to nap because you spent so much energy walking to the other side of the house.  I recall one specific moment.  I had gone to Walmart to buy sweet potatoes. I was in line to checkout, holding maybe 4 large potatoes in a bag.  I was so winded from carrying that single bag, that I had to set them down and rest.  And this was months after I had been released.

As you can imagine, that took its toll.  I did eventually recover, but not before the damage was done.  I had gained 50 pounds in the first 4 months.  My body was wrecked.  Enter the fall into depression.

Trying to start a workout program that big is like trying to swim in sand.  It took so much energy just to get off the couch.  I became so deconditioned that walking around the block became a chore.  I learned to hide it well.  I became efficient.

And so here I am, almost 4 years later.  I haven’t done much but wallow and sink further into depression.

I have retained a few of the last posts I made from 2012 below this.  I like to read them occasionally and see the red flags that were pointing to my blood clots and eventual embolism.  Workouts had became stubbornly lumbering and slow.  I wasn’t able to even finish them on several occasions.  Something had changed, but I didn’t see it.

It almost killed me.

Posted in Miscellaneous on December 18, 2015 at 11:08 PM.

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