In the beginning… 378.4 pounds

378.4 pounds.  Sigh.

As I struggle to find a point of reference to begin my blog, I am also fighting a very distinct urge to rattle off a confused jumble of excuses that might explain my current situation.  But what is the point?  Is there ever really an excuse to be closing in on 380 pounds?  Boredom, depression, guilt, SHAME.  The only power I have to change those feelings is in changing myself – right now.

I have been here before.  I find more shame in that fact, having lost and now regained even more weight, than I do in actually weighing almost 380 pounds.  I have lost too many supporters over the years through repeated failed attempts that those people have bought into.  And so they watch now with indifference, perhaps even wanting to see me fail for not being able to deliver changes within their own time frames.  I don’t need that type of support.  I don’t need the negativity from others that would question my daily mindset, my approach, or my goals.  Support me unequivocally or get out of my way.  I don’t have time for doubt or indifference.

Despite the iron determination that I woke up with on DAY ONE, I know that this is a long fight that I won’t win every single day.  To think otherwise is foolish and a recipe for defeat.  However, I would urge my remaining supporters (and new stragglers that I am able to pick up) to stick around, keep inspiring me, and watch as I transform my life from the outside in.  The approach is simple:  EAT, TRAIN, REST – with consistency.

And so, with a single step, I really am beginning a journey of a thousand miles.

Posted in Miscellaneous on December 19, 2015 at 10:34 AM.

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